“Free yourself from having to please” says the good advice on a fb post. Sounds good and like an awful lot of psychological decluttering. “I don’t care what others think” I used to say. Yeah. But do I tell my partner how boring I find some of his/her friends or my friend that I don’t actually enjoy afternoons with children at the museum? Or do I smile and say it’s okay I understand? Do I dye my grey hair, because I don’t want the discussions about looking older? Get a gym membership to appease my conscious, the doctor and my partner – rather than because I want to work out?
Exactly. Why spend good time and money on getting the perfect outdoor gear when I know the only outdoors will be the park? Why stretch my financial means to a huge black 4×4 which does not fit into any conventional parking space and costs a fortune in insurance?
What would you do if you moved to a place where no one knows you? Sell your car and get a boat? Shave off your fashion beard, bin your high heels or quit toning your abdominal muscles for that elusive flat tummy or six-pack? Stop telling everybody how fantastic they look and quit drinking fancy wine when you’d rather have a coke or beer?
So, why don’t you?
Because we aim to please. We do. Sad but true. Yet everybody can change this at any given moment. That is power. The power to displease. Which is not the same as being a selfish, ignorant bastard. It is simply making up one’s own mind, taking one’s own decision for one’s own life and withstanding the dictate of “but I think one really ought to” and “but what will people think!?”. Let them think whatever they want. You will never really know and you can’t control it. What you can control are your own thoughts. Go your own way, let go of what is not you and others will be likely to join you.